


Seasons

by nubivagant729



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, No Magic AU, Seasons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-10 19:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13508157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nubivagant729/pseuds/nubivagant729
Summary: glimpses into kady and julia's life through the four years that julia is in law school





	1. Summer 1

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter is going to be a short period of time in each season over a four year period. There's sort of a plot, but it's more one-shotesque I guess. There's no magic and the crew met during their undergraduate years in college although kady wasn't a student. Penny isn't really in this for no other reason than when I came up with this I wasn't really thinking about him and now I don't know how to work him into the story so sorry.

Julia did not need the news to tell her that it was hotter than hell outside, but it seemed intent on doing so. Every single channel was fixated on the unprecedented heat wave that had descended upon the east coast. She was sure other parts of the country were interested in the hundred plus degree weather, but Julia was sitting in her apartment experiencing it first hand and wishing to god that every meteorologist would fuck off and die. The city had been experiencing brownouts because everyone and their mother were running A/C, not that it mattered, considering the shitty apartment Kady and her had shacked up in didn’t have air conditioning. They’d been trying to find a way to get one of those window, air conditioners without breaking the bank, but neither of them had been successful yet. It was times like this that Julia missed her Manhattan high rise.

Julia had moved out of her old apartment six months ago after her mom, Beth, emptied all of her accounts. It happened a week after a Sunday dinner where her mom, her sister Danielle, Adam, Danielle’s husband, and Julia herself were in attendance. Julia filled with nervous, excitement had finally decided to tell her family about Kady. Julia and her mom had never had the most loving relationship, but her mom had lived in New York her whole life and was a "progressive" woman so she wasn’t that worried until after she told them about her girlfriend when her mom put her fork and knife down and looked at her with narrowed eyes. 

“Julia,” her mom said calmly, “you know I love you, but this family really doesn’t need another scandal.” She said simply. The previous scandal her mother was referring to was, of course, her father’s suicide. Julia was fourteen when he died, but she vividly remembered the three month alcohol induced stupor her mother went through afterwards. Beth finally pulled herself together and acted as if nothing was wrong because God forbid, the Wicker family appear as anything but perfect. Her mom had always been image obsessed so really, Julia should have seen her mother’s lack of acceptance coming. She was fine with other gay people, but her own daughter? That wasn't fine.

The situation quickly deteriorated and ended with Adam and Danielle driving Julia home after her mom threw her out of her childhood house. The next day she found all of her savings accounts emptied out and by the end of the month she was without a home. Thankfully, Kady and her were serious enough that moving in together wasn't a bad idea, so they pooled their money together and got a contract for a shit hole apartment in Brooklyn. It really wasn’t that awful of a place, but when it was one hundred and three degrees out, any place without A/C felt like hell on earth. 

Julia was covered in a thin layer of sweat that made her whole body feel sticky. Her hair hadn’t left it’s messy bun in three days because if she let it down she was pretty sure it would cause her to have a heat stroke. Both Kady and her had been wearing the minimum amount of clothes they could but Julia currently was in her work uniform. She had started working at a shitty diner a few days after they moved in. She didn’t mind the work but the uniform was khaki shorts and a long sleeve red shirt with the diner’s logo on it. It would probably only be a half hour into her shift before she had pit stains. Julia would be late for said shift if she didn’t walk out the door in the next ten minutes, but the thought of going out into the sun made her want to keel over and die. Kady’s state when she walked through the door only made her feel worse.

“I’m sweating like a whore in church.” Kady said. She immediately began stripping out of her long khaki pants that she had to wear for her cashier job at the CVS on the corner of their block. “Making us wear long pants is fucking barbaric.” She added as she walked over to Julia and wrapped her sweaty arms around her.

“At least you don’t have to spend time in a kitchen.” Julia said. She gave Kady a greeting kiss, but also a goodbye kiss because she really needed to get her ass to work.

“You’re closing tonight, right?” Kady asked.

“Yeah, you doing anything?” Julia said.

“Just a few things I need to get done, but nothing really.” Kady answered cryptically. Julia didn’t bother asking because even though her and Kady were dating, she still liked to keep things private and for now, Julia was content to allow her to do so. 

“Okay, well I’ll see you later.” Julia said as she made her way out the door. She heard Kady sarcastically yell “Stay cool,” which made Julia roll her eyes. 

The diner, called Anna’s, wasn’t too far from the apartment, but Julia felt like she was being boiled alive after walking one block. The heat bounced off the concrete causing mirages and steam to fly up. There were hardly any people outside, but those who were flocked towards shady areas beneath buildings and awnings.

The diner was surprisingly busy when she got there, but she figured all the old people in the neighborhoods wanted to sit in a place with guaranteed cooling. The actual dining room was cold and Julia relished the relief of being in it, but the kitchen would have made the inferno’s of the underworld feel like a moderate climate. The chef’s looked like they’d been at the gym for many hours and every waitress looked almost as bad. 

Julia slaved the night away, trying to spend as much time as possible in the dining room. She struck up conversations with some of the old people and even helped the bus boys clean tables, just so she could cool down. The only bright side was that her social attitude, mixed with her clear suffering resulted in some pretty generous tips. By the time the restaurant had closed and she had wiped down all the tables she had pulled in just over a hundred dollars in tips. Albeit she felt disgusting, but at least she could set some of her money aside for an air conditioner. 

It was a quarter after midnight and it had cooled down considerably, but it was still way hotter than it should be. Julia normally would have smoked a cigarette on her walk home, but she didn’t want anything to do with heat within twenty feet of her. She actually hadn’t smoked since the heat waved started three days ago because even though she was having nicotine withdrawals, she just couldn’t get herself to light a fire in this weather (also Kady was constantly harping on her to quit so it was about time she made an attempt). 

There were more people outside now than there were on her way into work. They were loitering outside the corner store and kids were riding bikes, swerving around people on the sidewalk. Julia loved the summer nightlife. Sometimes she could convince Kady to go on night walks with her. Most of the time Kady only agreed because she didn’t want Julia wandering around alone even though they lived in a relatively safe area. Julia would fixate on the street lights and store fronts and the neon signs. She wished that Kady was walking with her now. It was nice to just hold hands and stroll down the city sidewalks. Occasionally they would buy a cheap bottle of liquor and drink it as they adventured which would result in lots of laughter and PDA. It was kind of embarassing, but Julia was still in that phase of their relationship where every second her and Kady weren’t together, she thought about Kady and what she was doing and how she was feeling and all the things that they could do. So Julia picked up the pace and hoped that Kady was still awake so that maybe they could spend some time together. 

Julia’s wish was answered because Kady was sat on the floor, leaning against the couch, watching television. She wore a white spaghetti strap tank top and black shorts. Her skin was shining from having been sweating and she sipped on a beer. Julia felt her heart expand in her chest. She was about to greet Kady when she saw the box, air conditioner, thing in the window.

“Where the fuck did you get that?” She said with excitement as she sat down on the couch facing it, letting the cold air wash over her. Kady climbed up next to her and handed her the beer bottle which Julia gratefully, took a long drink from.

“I saw it the other day when I went to go pick up the pizza. Some homeless guy had it in his junk collection. He let me take a look at it and it seemed like it was in good condition, just needed a few new wires, so I went back to get it today and bought the wires and voila!” She said with a smile.

“You stole it from a homeless man?” Julia said indignantly.

“Of course not, he asked for twenty bucks for it so I told him he had a deal.” Kady said. Julia was pretty sure she could sit in front of it all night.

“I could kiss you right now.” Julia said. 

“Well don’t keep me waiting.” Kady replied with a smirk. Julia kissed her firmly and felt the tickle of Kady’s fly aways on her forehead. They were still both sticky and Julia smelled like fried food but neither one of them really cared all that much.


	2. Fall 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kady and julia are on the financial struggle bus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've sort of got this whole thing planned out and i promise things are gonna happen, but also some of these are really just fluffy one shots

Summer came and went just as the seasons do, leaving chilled fall air in its wake. The leaves turned red and orange and yellow and every warm color in between. Julia and Kady had switched out tank tops and shorts for jackets and jeans. Scarves and hats were Julia’s best friends and best of all, she wouldn’t have to sweat like a pig every time she left her apartment. Truth be told, Fall was Julia’s favorite season, but she was having a hard time enjoying it due to the demands of law school. Julia hadn’t always wanted to be a lawyer, but it was the first career path she’d actually been serious about and she’d stuck with it. Pre-law at Princeton was a breeze, but actual law school was kicking her ass a bit. She hadn’t been sure that she would be attending school in the fall because she didn’t really have the financial capacity to pay for it and she could find a good job regardless, but Kady set her straight. Julia remembered the exact words that Kady said to her after she informed her of her plans to decline her acceptance.

“Jules,” She said while taking her hands, “don’t worry about the money okay? We’ll figure it out, and besides, when you’re done and working at some high end law firm with a bunch of old white dudes, it won’t even matter.” Kady was always one to tell it like it was, but she had never been an optimist. It instilled some faith in Julia, that even Kady could look past the heaps of student debt she’d be in after schooling. So, she dragged her ass to school and was riding the struggle bus all the way to a law degree. 

Although she was proud of herself, and more importantly, Kady was proud of her, balancing work and school was draining the life from her. On days she had classes, she worked nights, and on days she didn’t have class she worked doubles. There was barely time for her to do classwork, but she felt even worse for Kady. Even with all the doubles, Julia was working much less than she had during summer, so Kady was picking up the slack by working two jobs. She’d been hired at a gas station and was working every single day just so they could pay all their bills. Both girls were exhausted and sad because for the last couple months, they barely had any time to spend together. Even when they had days off or were home at the same time, they usually just slept or lounged around. Money had never been a problem in Julia’s life up until recently and it was hard for her to adjust to the financial struggle, but Kady seemed to be a pro. Most people assumed that Julia was the brains in their relationship but Kady was brilliant with numbers and finance specifically. One night in late September, Kady sat down at their small kitchen table with a calculator and a binder full of expenses and within the hour she had made a full blown budget and was able to cut a couple hundred dollars off their monthly expenses, which was something Julia definitely could not do. Of course this meant that things like Julia’s morning coffee runs would be replaced by a cold shower to wake her up, and that she’d have to cut back on other little pleasantries, but in the grand scheme of things, having a home was a bit more important. 

All of the struggle only made Julia want to succeed more. She frequently told Kady that when she was a lawyer, Kady could quit her job and do whatever the fuck she wanted, although she had a feeling Kady wouldn’t like being a housewife very much. So, Julia’s mantra became “do it for Kady”. This helped her achieve laser focus in even the longest, most boring lectures, as well as give her the strength to push through every night shift at the diner. It had been working quite well for the last two months, but she definitely couldn’t go on like this for the next four years.

On one particularly cold day in November, Julia arrived on campus at ten for a lecture. She had a quick lunch then attended a one o’clock lecture that sucked the will to live from her body. She had two hours before her shift started, which she spent working diligently on a paper due next week and reviewing a few case studies she had to finish. Time had slipped away from her and before she knew it, she had twenty minutes to get to work. Julia wasn’t much of an athlete, but she was sure the speed at which she ran from campus to the diner would impress even Usain Bolt. Before she even had time to catch her breath, she was changed into her uniform and serving customers with a smile on her face. 

The seven hour shift dragged on and by the time she left the restaurant her legs felt heavier than boulders and her eyes were fighting to stay open. She thought of Kady, who also would just now be finishing up a shift as the gas station, and was probably equally as drained. It seemed unfair that there were people out there who got to go home at five o’clock and relax for the rest of their nights, but Julia remembered that not too long ago she was living that life, so she suppressed her indignant feelings and marched onward towards her apartment. 

All the lights were off as well as the television, so immediately, Julia knew Kady hadn’t returned from work yet. Julia stripped out of her uniform and put on a sweatshirt and pajama pants, with the intention of waiting up for Kady on the couch. The only problem was that the second her head hit the arm rest she was out cold. She didn’t hear Kady enter the apartment, nor did she feel her sit down next to her on the couch. Julia woke up to soft hands gently trailing down her cheek and through her hair. Kady was looking down at her with a loving smile that made Julia melt into her touch.

“What time is it?” Julia slurred as she sat up some. 

“One. You fell asleep out here.” Kady said. Kady was in her pajamas as well and looked as, if not more, tired than Julia. 

“You could’ve woke me up.” Julia said

“I like creepily watching you sleep.” Kady answered. She was always prepared to crack a joke which was something Julia loved about her. “Besides, you’re tired. I didn’t want to bother you.” She added. 

“You’re tired too. Let’s go to bed.” Julia said as she tried to stand up, but Kady pulled her back down to the couch.

“Wait, let’s just stay here for a little while.” Kady commanded. Even though an hour ago all Julia wanted was to curl into the covers of their bed and fall asleep, she obliged. Kady’s fingers returned to Julia’s face, gently grazing over her cheekbones and jawline. “I miss you.” She confessed. 

“I miss you too.” Julia said. “Maybe we could take a weekend off sometime next month” Julia added, knowing full well that they really couldn’t afford a weekend off. Kady humored her anyways.

“Maybe. We could go to an orchard or do something like that.” Kady said with a warm smile. It was a nice fantasy to dream up. The thought of the two of them taking a day to go pick apples and drink cider or whatever the fuck you do at an orchard. It was nice to think of doing something so carefree. But just like any dream it was a futile glimpse into a life that didn’t exist. Someday they could start enjoying life, but for now they were stuck working day in and day out so that they could sleep under a roof at night. 

“Being broke sucks.” Julia knew it was a childish thing to say, but it was true. 

“At least we can be broke together.” Kady answered.

“Since when did you become such an optimist?” Julia asked. Kady was many things, but she was nothing if not a realist. 

“Since I was given something to be optimistic about. Even on the longest days, the worst shifts, I just think of you and me living in some huge fucking penthouse apartment, drinking thousand dollar bottles of scotch, reminiscing about our days as two broke girls living in a shitty Brooklyn apartment.” Kady said. She laughed at the idea, but it sure sounded like a life Julia wanted.

“I don’t know about thousand dollar bottles of scotch, but I guess anything’s better than the shit were drinking now.” Julia said. It really was nice to think that someday, they would be able to live a comfortable life. It was also nice to know that Kady’s future included Julia. Actually, that was the best feeling in the fucking world. Julia was pretty sure she could suffer through a million days life today if it meant that one day she’d get that penthouse apartment with Kady.


	3. Winter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new years party and eliot and margo's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't originally what i planned for this chapter but i wanted it to take place outside of the apartment so here it is :)

Julia and Kady worked Christmas Eve and Christmas day. It wasn’t ideal, however, they both took New Years Eve and New Years day off. It’s not like either of them really were Christians, but they were drinkers so New Years was more of their forte anyways. Julia ended up covering a breakfast shift on New Years Eve, but then the whole evening was theirs, and they had hours to relax before Eliot and Margo’s annual New Year’s Eve rager. In all honesty it was usually just the four of them plus Alice and Quentin getting plastered which wasn’t too different from their regular parties, but on New Year’s they did it in cocktail dresses. They had spend the day on the couch admiring the snow falling from the gray skies above. Part of Julia wished that Kady and her could stay in for the night. A whole night and morning with Kady where they could do whatever they wanted sounded like bliss. The only thing stopping her from begging Kady to stay in was the fact that she couldn't remember the last time they had gone out and had fun like normal twenty-three year olds. They deserved an evening filled with drinks and laughter and stupid jokes. Besides, if they stayed in Eliot and Margo would come to their apartment and burn the whole place down. There were few things that Eliot and Margo took more seriously than parties. Julia knew that days of outfit planning, cleaning, and decorating went into this small get together tonight and Eliot and Margo would be greatly offended if Kady and her skipped out on them. 

“We should bring something right? Like a dish or drinks?” Julia asked.

“Probably. I can run to the store and get something. You should start getting ready because I don’t want to be more than an hour late.” Kady said. Both of them took their time finally peeling their bodies off the couch, but eventually Kady put on her coat and headed to the store while Julia started sifting through her dresses. Julia hadn’t decided what to wear by the time Kady returned. 

“I got little sandwiches and two bottles of tequila. That’s good right?” Kady asked as she began looking through Julia’s dresses as well.

“Yeah, that should be fine.” Julia said as she pulled out a black dress with a deep v neck and no sleeves.

“That’s the one. It makes you look hot.” Kady said. Kady looked apathetically through her own closet. Kady refused to wear a dress even though Margo insisted this was a black tie event. She settled for black skinny jeans and a flannel top with a leather jacket. 

“What? I don’t always look hot?” Julia feigned offense. Kady put her hands on her hips and pulled her body to hers. 

“No, sometimes you just look cute.” Kady said and kissed Julia.

“Don’t start now or we’ll never make it out of the door.” Julia pulled away and put her dress on. “Let me do my makeup and hair and then we can go.” Julia said. Kady did her makeup as well but her hair was low maintenance. Unlike Julia who had to put considerable effort into maintaining her luscious locks, Kady had naturally beautiful hair. She finished getting ready and met Kady in the living room. They were out the door twenty minutes later which by all accounts was better than expected. The snow and heavy traffic made the ride longer than expected, but Julia didn’t mind seeing as it meant more time alone with Kady, even if they were in the back of a taxi. 

Eliot and Margo’s place was in Manhattan which stung Julia a little, but she could ignore that for the night. They both worked in marketing at some insurance company and while neither of them were passionate about the work, the passion for money eclipsed any negative parts of their jobs. They lived in a luxurious apartment building with a bellhop and chandeliers in the lobby. The apartment itself wasn’t too fancy, but it definitely had an air of modernism and sophistication that suited Eliot and Margo’s tastes. Eliot was already tipsy when he greeted them at the door.

“Julia, Kady, Happy New Year’s. You brought tequila? Thank god. All Margo has is fucking champagne. I told Q and A to bring as much liquor as they’ve got, but I don’t know how much longer I can wait.” He rambled taking the bottles from them and called for Margo. Margo was radiant, obviously having gone all out for tonight. 

“Girls, looking gorgeous as ever. Here, have these.” Margo said, handing them champagne flutes. Julia found Margo’s hosting a bit disturbing. It was like she’d forgot that they’d all known each other for four years and was trying to impress business executives at some office party. Julia had to remind herself that Margo was always like this. If Margo wasn’t intimidating someone then she was failing at her lifetime goal of being the top bitch at all times. 

Eliot, with the most amount of grace he could manage, lead them all to the living room. Before the small talk could start, Quentin and Alice arrived. They had not disappointed with the alcohol, bring much more than the six of them could drink. Greetings commenced and then all them were sat together in the living room surrounded by booze and the familiar feeling of happiness that came with their gatherings. Julia was reminded of her days as an undergrad at Princeton. Before Kady it was just the five of them suffering through Ivy League life and their various personal problems. Julia met Kady at a bar and what should have been a one night stand became, well, a real relationship. Julia wasn’t sure what relationships would survive after graduation. Kady and Quentin were non-issues, but Eliot, Margo, and Alice were Quentin’s friends first and she wasn’t sure if they were going to stick around, but somehow they were all still close.

“So, Julia and Kady, how’s Brooklyn life?” Eliot asked as he finished another drink. 

“Just great, I’m sure you’d love it.” Kady answered. 

“I’d sooner become celibate before I lived in Brooklyn.” Eliot said. 

“Brooklyn’s not so bad.” Quentin defended apathetically.

“Oh please Q, you hated Brooklyn.” Julia said. They both grew up in Brooklyn and Quentin always made it abundantly clear that he wanted nothing more than to leave and go somewhere else. He never really had a reason other than the fact that he believed he belonged somewhere else. Q was permanently dissatisfied with life when he was younger. He would chase after something he wanted only to discover that when he got there it wasn’t actually what he desired. It was a sad cycle to witness, but eventually he found Alice and they were good for each other, so the cycle sort of ended. Kady was kind of like Julia's Alice. Julia wasn’t permanently dissatisfied, but she lived a superficial life without many things she really cared about. Pre-Law was boring and Julia was going through personal struggles just like the rest of the group. She'd found herself to be chronically lonely despite having a great group of friends. She figured it had to do with her abhorrent love life. During her freshman and sophomore years at Princeton she dated James, who was her only serious relationship. He was kind and took care of her, but Julia never loved him and they were lacking chemistry. Even though James wasn't her soulmate, she felt sad after they broke up. She thought that her and James could be like Alice and Quentin and it hurt when she'd failed at that. Then there was Eliot and Margo who were the most sexually empowered people Julia had ever met. Being around the four of them always left Julia feeling like she was destined to be alone. Kady was supposed to be a quick, temporary cure to that loneliness. Never at any point during their brief love affair did Julia ever plan on seeing her again, but she did. They met up again and again, until one day, without Julia even noticing, Kady was a constant in her life. Julia had been in the dark for quite some time and then Kady came along. Kady was like the sun rising after a long night. 

“Jules, you want another drink?’ Kady asked her quietly. 

“Yeah, sure babe.” She said. The drinks flowed as did the conversation and by ten thirty every single one of them was shitfaced. Julia was uncontrollably giggling at Quentin and Alice who were in deep conversation about some nerd shit that she didn’t understand. They were legitimately arguing about something and Quentin was mad. It was funny for some reason that Julia didn’t know, but even funnier was Eliot who was detailing his latest sexual escapade. 

“He was literally the biggest man I’ve ever fucking seen. In all ways, but I was ready to go. So were getting hot and all and he says he wants to try something and I’m curious so I let him tell me and he pulls out a fucking taser. I didn’t even fucking ask I just left. What the fuck is that?” He laughed. 

“You’re lying! That’s a bold face fucking lie!” Kady challenged. 

“He’s not, he told me about it that night!” Margo said. 

“What, were you there?” Kady asked. 

“I wish.” Margo said. They were all practically rolling on the floor laughing. It was stupid and probably would have been more disturbing than funny if they were sober, but Julia was laughing harder than she had in months. They always ended up trying to outdo each other with the most wild, morbid stories they could so Kady told them about a man who came into CVS insisting he was a government agent and needed every single steroid prescription they had, then proceeded to “call” his back up when they refused to give it to him. It took three cops to get him out of the store. Once again, a story that wasn’t all that funny, had caused them all to lose it. After awhile the conversation died and the restlessness set in so, the group disbanded, Q and A ending up in the kitchen, Eliot and Margo in the bedroom, and Kady and Julia remaining in the living room. 

“You look so pretty” Kady slurred. 

“You too. Like the moon. You’re glowing.” Julia said. Kady laughed at her.

“You’re so drunk.” Kady said.

“So are you!” Julia responded indignantly. “Are we gonna kiss at midnight?” Julia asked looking up at Kady warmly.

“What are me in middle school? Only if you promise to go to the dance with me.” Kady joked. “Yes, I’ll kiss you at midnight.” Kady answered. Julia wrapped her arms around Kady’s waist and they both rolled off the couch onto the floor. They laughed at nothing and everything and neither of them could keep their hand's off each other. They finished off another bottle of champagne on the floor. Julia was thankful for the alone time she had been longing for earlier in the night. It didn't last for too long, but it was enough to satisfy her. The group reunited at eleven fifty and it took them five minutes to turn the television on to the right channel, but eventually they were looking at thousands of people who were just a few miles away, bringing in the New Year. Ryan Seacrest was talking to some celebrity. They started counting down at thirty seconds watching the ball fall until it finally hit midnight. Kady, true to her word, kissed her warmly and wrapped her arm around Julia’s neck to hold her close. 

“Happy New Year. I love you.” Kady said with a smile.

“I love you too.” Julia responded. “Are you excited? I mean, I know it's just another day, but the idea of a new start is nice, right?”

"Yeah, I'm excited.” Kady answered. They held each other close and swayed back and forth. Quentin and Eliot were loudly and drunkenly singing Auld Lang Syne, leaving Alice and Margo in a fit of laughter. Julia felt her body fill with warmth and happiness. She starting her year in Kady’s arms surrounded by her best friends, and that’s how she planned on ending it too.


	4. Spring 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New jobs and jealous kady??

As winter faded away, spring returned life to the city and into Julia and Kady. Although it didn’t seem possible, Julia somehow made it through her first year of law school. The stress of working and going to school nearly everyday for nine months had worn Julia down, but things were looking up. Both Julia and Kady had gotten new jobs in the last month. Kady had found an opening at a warehouse that distributed Samsung phones. It was physical work, moving boxes, driving lifts, emptying trucks, but Kady was a hands on person and actually enjoyed that type of work. It paid fifteen dollars an hour and had legit benefits which was more than could be said for CVS or the gas station. Julia was still waitressing, but the restaurant was much busier than the coney-island type diner she’d been working at. It served a lot of business type people who tipped well. Julia and Kady planned to work hard through the spring and summer so that they would have some savings to keep them afloat when Julia started school again. 

The biggest blessing of their job changes was that Julia, for the first time in over a year, felt like she was standing on solid ground. Julia and Kady were by no means making enough money to start a vacation fund or anything special, but they weren’t going to be living paycheck to paycheck anymore. Both of them had a more regular schedule as well which meant that Julia and Kady were finally spending more time together. Last weekend they went to the zoo which was something Julia hadn’t done since she was ten years old. The weather was crappy so the animals were mostly inside, but just spending a full day with Kady, knowing that she didn’t have to work later, was pure bliss. Next weekend they were planning on going to The Museum of Modern Art, just for the hell of it. Julia was really starting to feel like a carefree twenty something year old. 

Julia was set to work close that night. Kady would be home around five and Julia had to leave around five thirty, but tomorrow they both had the day off. Julia was still fairly new to the job so she wasn't usually scheduled on Friday's and Saturday's considering those were the best shifts. The restaurant Julia worked at somehow managed to be classy and trashy which meant it attracted a large range of people. There were tourists, young people on a night out, couples, and everyone in between. The real cash came from the business men. The waitresses had a loose uniform requirement, so most of them, Julia included, tended to dress a little more revealing than would be accepted at other restaurants. The businessmen who came in usually were looking for a place where they didn’t have to act professional, but also somewhere a bit more conservative than a strip club. The waitresses were expected to be as professional as possible, but the first thing she learned from the waitress she shadowed is that being a flirt paid well. Old men loved when young girls acted all interested in them and for Julia, it was easy to pretend. She was practiced in batting her eyelashes and working her charm. It also didn’t hurt that Julia wasn’t lacking in the looks department, so on a Friday night, Julia could usually count on a couple hundred dollars in tips. 

The hardest par of the job was learning the regular's orders. At the diner, the regulars were all old people who came in for breakfast everyday and ordered eggs, bacon and toastl. Now, the regulars were men who expected their drink at the table before a waitress even greeted them. Most of them were complete assholes, but a few were alright. There was this one guy, Jackson, who worked at a bank a few blocks away who was always nice and always tipped well. There was also Ramone, who came to meet the woman he was having an affair with. Julia was pretty sure the restaurant was just their rendezvous point because they usually never ordered more than one drink before leaving. Overall, Julia like the restaurants environment. She was making a lot more money and it was way more interesting than the diner. 

Julia ended up leaving for her shift before Kady got home. The only requirement for the uniform was that it had to be all black, so Julia went for a tank top and black skinny jeans. She’d made sure to do her makeup and hair as perfectly as she could because she was hoping to make a lot tonight. It was already busy when she arrived and it didn’t start to slow down until an hour before close. Julia had done better than she expected and was feeling happy with the hundred and fifty dollars in tips she had in her pocket already. With an hour left it should have been smooth sailing, but the rest of her shift was hell. A fight between two men at the bar resulted in broken glass and a call to the police. A group of three girls who were already drunk when they arrived ended leaving her a ten percent tip on a eighty dollar bill and one of the other waitresses got sick and went home. To top it all off, fifteen minutes before they closed four men walked in and were seated in Julia’s section. Julia wanted nothing more than to tell them to leave so she could go home, but the owner had showed up after the fight and she really didn’t need him hearing her kick customers to the curb, so be grinned and beared it. She did her introduction and asked for their drink orders.

“Alright, I’ll have those right out, anything else I can get you?” She asked with the biggest smile she could muster. 

“You could get yourself a drink and sit down with us?” One of them said. He was older, probably over forty-five. Julia didn’t feel like entertaining them even if she would be risking a nice tip.

“I would, but I have work to do. I’ll have those drinks over in a minute.” She said, trying her best to keep that smile on her face. One of them said something about ‘playing hard to get’, but Julia was gone before he could finish whatever he was saying. The men were persistent in their flirting, but Julia didn’t bother to act interested and apparently they were okay with that. It was all a good laugh to them. Julia’s snide attitude actually seemed to fuel their banter and by the time she brought them their bill they were acting absolutely obnoxious. 

“Were going to a bar, come with us.” One of them begged sloppily. He kept trying to reach out and grab her arm, but he missed every time. They were unbelievably drunk and Julia was at her wits end.

“Listen we closed like an hour ago and I need to clean up.” Julia said bluntly. 

“What, don’t you want some fun? Come on baby?” He asked. Julia decided that if she ignored them long enough they would leave and she was right. Ten minutes later the group had left and she was finally free to go home after she cleared their table. Much to her surprise a single hundred dollar bill was left on the table with a small piece of paper that had a phone number on it. Julia actually laughed out loud. Those men were clearly idiots considering she had been brushing off all of their advances. It amazed Julia was a little cleavage and an attitude could get a girl if she just found a few stupid men. Her spirits had been lifted, but she was so tired she didn’t even tell Kady about her ridiculous night when she got home, she just went to bed. 

When Julia woke up the next morning she found Kady in the kitchen making breakfast. The room glowed with early morning light that made Kady look exceptionally beautiful. There was a warm breeze flowing in through the open window. Kady had set the table and made a full meal for Julia.

“Hey, I made breakfast.” She said.

“I see that, thanks.” Julia said with a smile as she sat down to eat. “Listen to what happened last night.” Julia added. She told Kady about the fight, and the annoying drunk girls, and finally the douche bag guys at the end of the night. “So, they keep saying ‘come with us babe, you’ll have fun’, but finally they leave and guess what? They tipped me a hundred fucking dollars.” She said. 

“Damn, what idiots.” Kady said. 

“I know, one of them even left me their number. Forty year old men, acting like eighteen year old boys. It’s ridiculous.” Julia said. 

“I can’t believe you usually flirt back with guys like that.” Kady said. Julia noticed a slight edge to her tone that she hadn’t expected. 

“It’s just for the tips.” She answered, feeling defensive. 

“Yeah for you it is. They probably go home and jerk it while thinking about you. It’s gross.” Kady snapped. 

“Are you jealous?” Julia said with and exasperated laugh.

“No. Why would I be jealous?” Kady countered. 

“I don’t know. You shouldn’t be. It’s not like it means anything.” Julia said. They were now staring at each other. Julia hadn’t expected for them to have a fight today and she really didn’t want this to mean that they would be snippy with each other for the rest of the day. 

“It’s not you I’m worried about.” Kady mumbled.

“What? You don’t like that guys like me? I can’t stop them from liking me. We need the money, Kady. What do you want me to do?” Julia knew she wasn’t being fair. She could have been more understanding or less angry, but she was finally working in a place where she made more than minimum wage and Kady and Julia finally had some spending money. She liked her job and she didn’t want to give it up. 

“I don’t know Jules. It just bothers me. I can’t help it, I know it’s dumb, but I can’t.” Kady said. “You shouldn’t have to deal with gross men like that.” Kady said.

“I can handle myself, and if it makes you feel better, I’d rather be flirting with you.” Julia said. She wasn’t usually sappy, but she really wanted this argument to end. Kady cracked a small smile that let Julia know they were done. “You’re a lot better at it than any of them.” Julia added. This instilled some confidence in Kady.

“Obviously, I’m fucking better at it. It takes a lot of skill to catch your eye.” Kady said. She stood up and walked to Julia’s chair, standing behind her. Her fingers gently brushed through Julia’s hair, just grazing over her collarbone. She bent down and gently kissed Julia’s jaw and neck. “Clearly I have it.” Kady whispered softly. Julia turned her head to meet Kady’s lips and brought her hand to Kady’s face to pull her in closer. 

Julia loved that they’d been going out and having fun lately, but for today, she was content to stay in.


	5. Summer 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kady and Julia spend a weekend at a lakeside cottage

The summer sun had darkened Julia and Kady's skin and pulled freckles to the surface of their faces. Both of them had made a point to spend as much time as they possibly could outside this summer. They kept going to the upper east side to meet Eliot and Margo so they could spend time in central park. After being holed up inside all winter, the summer had been a welcome sight and they were trying to make the most of it. Kady had even managed to convince Julia to start going on runs with her. Julia had run cross country for a year when she was in middle school because her sister did it and Julia thought it would be fun, but it quickly became clear that Julia was not a natural born athlete. She much preferred a long walk or bike ride, but Kady liked to run and Julia figured it was good for her so she was willing to tag along. Kady had even managed to get Eliot and Margo to join them one time, but Eliot didn’t make it half a mile before he was bent double, gasping for breath. It made Julia glad that she had given up smoking. 

Julia and Kady had been looking for more things they could do outside when Julia remembered the family lake house. It was a small cottage on an inland lake upstate. Technically it belonged to Julia’s grandma Lou. Grandma Lou was her dad’s mom and was a very wealthy woman, but Julia had always had a good relationship with her. She was sure that her grandma would have let her stay in the cottage, but when Julia’s dad died, Grandma Lou gave the cottage to Julia’s mom. She was pretty sure the only reason that her mom ended up with the cottage was because Grandma Lou was too old to take care of it, but nevertheless Julia was in no position to ask her mom for the keys. She thought maybe she could go to the house one day when her mom wasn’t home, but according to her sister, her mom had moved out into the suburbs and Julia no longer had a key to her home. 

Julia had left the idea of a weekend at the lake behind, when her sister, Danielle, showed up at her apartment with the keys in hand.

“Jesus, thanks Dani.” Julia said as she welcomed her inside. 

“No problem, it’s the least I could do. I don’t think anyone has been there except the lady who cleans it in like three years, so I doubt mom will even notice these are gone. Anyways, how have you been?” Danielle asked. Julia and her spent a substantial amount of time playing catch up. She knew that there was some guilt about the fact that Danielle was now the only one their mother recognized as a daughter, but Julia had no hard feelings toward her sister. Their mom may be a raging cunt, but Julia had always been close with Danielle and it was nice to see her.

“Listen, I have some good news. Well not really news, but anyways, me and Adam are trying for a baby, and I know that things are not good between you and mom, but if things work out, I don't want that to keep you from being part of the baby’s life.” Danielle said. “Kady too, you can be the fun aunts or whatever.” Danielle added. Being cut out of her family had hurt Julia more than she let on, but Danielle had just offered her a life line that she couldn’t refuse.

“Yeah, of course, I’d love that. Kady would too.” Julia answered. Her sister's visit left Julia feeling unbelievably happy and their upcoming lake weekend added to the joy. Before Kady got home she’d packed bags for the both of them to go to the cottage tomorrow. Julia had shift the next night, but she’d found someone to cover for her and she was ninety nine percent sure Kady was off that weekend, so she didn’t have to worry about her schedule. Kady was, needless to say, surprised when she saw a bunch of packed bags sitting in the kitchen.

“Uh, what’s going on?” She asked, vague concern present on her face. 

“Danielle stopped by, brought the key to the cottage. Were going this weekend. You don’t work right?” Julia asked. She was trying stuff a few more things into her already overflowing bag. 

“No, but we don’t have a car?” Kady said. 

“Shit, maybe Q will let us borrow his.” Julia said. Julia hadn’t really thought about the fact that they would need a car, but she was too invested in this trip to give up now. She called Quentin and thankfully he was wasn’t planning on going anywhere over the weekend. They were really going to be able to go and Julia was so excited she barely slept that night. They got up early that morning and took an Uber to Quentin and Alice’s place. Q gave her the keys and helped them put their stuff in the back. 

“Just be careful with it okay?” Quentin said. “And have fun.”

They said goodbye to Quentin and started their drive upstate. It would take them three hours to get to the cottage. Kady was a much better driver than Julia so she was driving, at least until they were out of the city. Julia had made a playlist and was looking forward to talking to Kady for the ride, but the effects of staying up all night had caught up to her and one second they were just getting out of NYC then the next Kady was shaking her awake telling her they had arrived. Julia hadn’t seen the small house since she was twelve years old, but it was exactly how she remembered it. The house was painted a pale blue color with dark navy shutters on all the windows. The outside hadn’t been taken care of so the house looked worn down and plant overgrowth added to the rustic look, but the overwhelming feeling she felt when looking at the cottage was coziness. The driveway and side of the house was surrounded by trees but the backyard was a large grass lawn that led directly up to the lake. The water was shimmering in the sun. It looked like a billion diamonds laying untouched in the middle of the forest. Julia was overwhelmed with nostalgia. She remembered spending full weeks here over the summer when she was younger. Before her father had become a devout alcoholic and her mother had become too important to care about her kids or husband, the Wicker’s had been a family filled with laughter and love. Julia was young when everything started going wrong so she couldn’t pinpoint the exact time things had changed, but she still remembered the good days and many of them were spent at the cottage. 

“Let’s go in.” Julia said. The inside of the cottage was pretty plain. It definitely hadn’t been redecorated in the last few decades. It was small and crowded and kind of ugly, but Julia had never loved a place more.

“Well, let’s go swimming. I’m sweating like crazy.” Kady said. The lake water was refreshing after being in the car all morning. Kady was a bit of a wimp about the temperature, but eventually she got in. 

“This water is literally four degrees.” Kady said. She was walking to Julia, desperately trying to keep her arms above the water. 

“You’re just a big baby. Come on.” Julia said. Kady finally waded her way over to Julia and immediately wrapped herself around her. “Are you gonna make me carry you?” Julia asked. Kady just rolled her eyes and held on tighter. Julia dragged her around through the water. They only stayed in for long enough to cool off before returning to the backyard. They laid out on towels on the grass. The sun warmed their tan skin as midday faded into the evening hours. Kady found a frisbee in the shed and made Julia play with her. Kady had a good laugh at how awful Julia was at throwing it. 

“Just pull it back and flick it forward! Come on!” She laughed. Julia really tried her hardest, but more than half her throws were uncatchable. They gave up after a while and moved to sit on the porch swing. Julia rested her head on Kady’s shoulder and let her body rest on Kady’s. Kady was warm, but her bare skin still had goosebumps. 

“Want to run into town? We can get dinner and marshmallows.” Julia asked. There was a fire pit right on the edge of the lake and they were planning on having a fire that night. 

“Sure.” Kady answered. They both put on t-shirts and shorts over their swimsuits and drove into town. The only things in the small city were a liquor store, a pizza place, and a gas station. Julia went to the corner store to buy chocolate, graham crackers and marshmallows, while Kady bought a pizza. Besides the employees, Julia saw only two other people. Julia couldn’t remember the last time she had been in such a secluded place. She thought of a life that her Kady could have here. They could work at the pizza place or the gas station and her mom would unknowingly be paying their bills. No one would bother them and they could lay in the sun all summer. The leaves would change and they could walk through the woods in the fall. The lake would freeze in the winter so they could skate on it. Julia would drop out of law school and they would live a simple life. They could grow old together in a small cottage on the lake. It would also be a life that they would hate. Their life in the city was stressful, but growing up in New York had hardwired their brains to the pace of a big city. They both loved the hustle and bustle and Julia knew they would die of boredom out here. Maybe Julia could just steal the keys to the cottage so that they could come more often. 

By the time they got back to the house, the sun was setting over the lake in a blaze of fiery, warm colors. Both girls had on sweatshirts and put their beach hair up in messy buns. Their skin was sun kissed and still radiated warmth even though they’d been out of the sun for a few hours now. After they ate they began searching for sticks and logs for the fire. Julia found a stack of wood behind the shed. Most of it was rotted but there were a few pieces they could use for the fire. Once the fire started they moved the porch swing out to the pit to sit on. The stars were out in full force and the moon was a sliver, shining in the dark night sky. The mix of the crackling fire, the buzzing insects, and the soft waves crashing against the shore were the only sounds that could be heard. 

“I’m glad we did this.” Kady said. Her voice was a whisper in the night that made Julia’s heart swell.

“Me too.” She responded. They had wrapped their bare legs in a blanket and sat by the fire late into the night. They were tired out from swimming and lying in the sun, but after awhile their energy returned. Both of them made smores, but Julia felt like doing something. “Let’s go for a swim.”

“You’re kidding right? It’s too dark.” Kady said. “I can’t even see the water.” She added.

“Let’s go skinny dipping.” Julia amended. 

“No way, what if someone sees?” Kady asked.

“There’s no one out here! Besides you can’t even see the water, so how could someone else.” Julia said. “Please? It will be fun.” Julia asked. She could already tell by Kady’s sigh that she had caved. 

“Fine.” She huffed. Julia started undressing until she was in her swimsuit. She waited for Kady, who begrudgingly followed suit. Julia let her top fall off first and then stepped out of her bottoms. It was a bit strange standing stark naked right out in the open, her heartbeat sped up and she could feel an excited shake take over. She felt like a high schooler who thrived on taking risks. Kady took off her swimsuit as well, but it was so dark that Julia could barely see her. She grabbed Kady’s hand and gently pulled her towards the water. Julia was fairly sure the temperature hadn’t changed much, but instead of feeling refreshing, the water just felt cold. A chill ran through her body the second her feet touched the water and goosebumps took over her skin. 

“Fuck, it’s freezing Jules.” Kady whispered. Julia coaxed Kady into the water with her. They waded in up to their chests. Kady pressed her body as tightly as she could against Julia’s. Julia was keenly aware of the intimacy of this moment. They were both shivering and even though their faces were inches away from each others, Julia could hardly make out Kady’s features. Julia closed the distance between them eagerly and Kady let her hands fall to Julia’s hips. The water made all their motions feel slower and more deliberate. The cold made every touch and sensation feel heightened. Kady’s wandering hands were delicately touching her stomach when jumped and grabbed Julia tightly.

“What the fuck was that?” She cried in a high pitch voice.

“What? What?” Julia asked with intensity.

“Something just touched my leg. I swear to God!” She yelled as she frantically looked around. Julia laughed a little. 

“It was probably just me.” Julia said. 

“No! It wasn’t. It was a fucking fish or something. There are fish around us!” Kady was inconsolable. Julia began laughing out loud.

“Kady it’s fine! It was probably nothing.” Julia answered through laughs.

“No, we’re getting out. Let’s go.” Kady said. Julia was hysterical as Kady frantically dragged her from the water. Once they got to land Kady gave her a dirty look.

“I’m sorry! You were so scared.” Julia said. 

“Stop laughing at me!” Kady said. 

“I’m sorry!” Julia genuinely couldn’t stop laughing. Kady couldn’t keep the fake look of anger on her face and started laughing too. They were standing in the middle of the yard soaking wet and naked, laughing loudly. 

“I’m telling you, something touched my leg!” Kady defended. Julia couldn’t even respond. She laughed until she cried and then when she was done it took her at least a minute to catch her breath. 

“I’ve seen you punch a grown man without flinching, but a fish has you fleeing for you life.” Julia said. 

“Whatever, I wasn’t made for the wilderness.” Kady said. She handed Julia a towel and pulled her to the swing. Both of them dried off and finally decided it was time for bed. The beds sheets were all rough and the mattress squeaked, but after the long day, they slept soundly through the night. They ate leftover pizza for breakfast because there was no food in the cottage. They were planning on leaving around noon so Julia packed up all their things. Julia took Kady for a walk on the trail around the lake. 

“We should come here again. We could bring Q, A, Margo and Eliot for labor day.” Kady suggested. Their hands were intertwined and Kady swung them back and forth. 

“Sure. Me and you should come back in the fall. The lake is so beautiful when the leaves change.” Julia said. “We used to come for my dad’s birthday every year and play games and watch movies.” Julia added. 

“Sounds nice.” Kady said sincerely. She wondered what Kady was thinking. Kady had been deprived of the fun youthful years that Julia had experienced. Julia’s family had eventually turned to shit, but Kady’s had always sucked. She’d missed out on family fun and loving parents. Julia had come to the realization early on in their relationship that Kady was so hardened because she’d grown up fending for herself. It had taken a while, but eventually Kady had allowed herself to show Julia some vulnerability and now they were so open with each other that if felt like they’d known each other forever. Besides Quentin, Julia had never had a person she could fully trust and Kady was the same way. Julia couldn’t imagine living her life without Kady.

“You ready to go?” Kady asked.

“Yeah.” Julia said. They put all their bags in the car. Julia took a long look at the lake and the cottage. Both of them got into the car and started their drive back to real life.


	6. Fall 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> julia faces a loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for death and mentions of suicide

Julia’s mom called her for the first time in nearly two years on November third. She almost didn’t answer, just out of spite, but for some reason she took the call. 

“Julia, it’s your mom.” She said. Her voice was nasally. Julia could tell after one sentence that she’d been crying. “There’s been an accident.” She added. 

“What happened?” Julia felt a knot instantly form in her stomach. Whatever happened had to have been bad if her mom was calling.

“It’s Dani. She was in a car accident and -”

“Are you at the hospital? Which one, I’m on my way.” Julia was already searching for her coat and shoes.

“Julia… she didn’t get to the hospital, she didn’t make it.”

 

The conversation ended quickly after. It was cold, clinical. Her mom told her not to bother coming over. She would know what day the funeral would be by the end of the day tomorrow so Julia should expect a call. Julia was half tempted to block her mother’s number, but instead she called Adam, Dani’s husband.

“Adam, I’m sorry to call, but my mom wasn’t really telling me anything. This is a joke right? She’s just fucking with me right?” Julia’s voice was shaking. Adam told her what the police said. Dani was driving home, probably a little too fast, when she hit a pothole. She lost control of the car and hit an oncoming car. The driver in the other car was alive, but in critical condition. Danielle died on impact. Julia didn’t know what she felt. Numb, maybe. The whole situation definitely didn’t feel real. How could it? She had no proof that any of this had really happened. She wanted to go to her mom’s house, but she didn’t even know the address. It didn’t even occur to her to call Kady, who was at work. She tried to call Danielle’s phone, but it went straight to voicemail. She tried three more times before she called Adam again. She asked him again what had happened. Julia had always sought facts. When things didn’t make sense she researched or studied. Knowledge was her superpower and she needed it right now. Nothing about this made any sense because she’d seen her sister two weeks ago and now she was dead? To his credit, Adam seemed remarkably calm and was willing to answer all of Julia’s questions. 

“I’m going to your mom’s tomorrow so we can start planning the service. She insisted we get ahead of things. It will probably be at the end of the week.” He said. No surprise there. Of course the funeral would be important. They would need the best priest there was and the most beautiful flower arrangements money could buy because surely her mother would invite all of her important political friends. “I can pick you up.” He added. 

“No, I don’t think that would be good. Um, just let me know what day it’s going to be and I’ll come over the day before.” Julia decided. She was heading into auto-pilot mode. She was going to have to email her professors because she would be missing classes and she would have to talk to her boss. After her third e-mail it occurred to Julia that she hadn’t even cried yet. She should be mourning her sister. She should be crying and screaming because Danielle meant so much to her, but Julia just felt empty. Suddenly she had all these things to do and she didn't have time to think about Danielle. It was like her mind had shut off and her body was working without her. Kady got home at five and Julia was trying to call her boss for the third time.

“You’re going to have to take some time off this week, okay? I don’t know when yet, but you will.” Julia told her. 

“Why, what’s happening?” Kady asked hesitantly. She approached Julia with caution, clearly sensing that something was wrong.

“Danielle’s dead and the funeral’s going to be sometime this week and I need you to go with me, so you’re going to have to take some time off.” Julia said. She refreshed her email again, hoping that one of her professor’s had responded to her. 

“What? Wait-what? How?” Kady grabbed Julia’s shoulders and looked at her intensely.

“A car accident. My mom called. She told me to stay home.” Julia said. Julia was starting to think that she might be in a little bit of shock, because she was feeling cold and a bit dizzy. 

“Oh my god.” Kady pulled Julia into a whole body embrace.

“I called work and my professor’s but no one’s answering and Danielle’s phone is going to voicemail and I’ve called Adam like five times and I think he’s getting annoyed.” Julia said. 

“Jules, just calm down, okay? Come on.” She pulled Julia to her bedroom She was trying to cooperate with Kady who was helping her into pajamas and into bed, but she couldn’t get her body to fucking move. Kady wasn’t frustrated by Julia’s lack of assistance and gently got her under the covers of the bed they shared.

“We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Just-just try to rest.” Kady told her. Kady’s comforting touches and voice seemed far away in Julia’s mind. Sleep eluded her for most of the night and by morning she’d probably only slept for two hours. Julia missed it, but at some point Kady called into work for the rest of the week, which was really not practical, but Julia didn’t care. She never got out of bed that day. Her mom called around six that night.

“The viewing is going to be Thursday with a wake at the house afterwards. The next morning will be the burial. Adam said you’d come by Wednesday?” Her mother was all business as usual.

“Yes and I’m bringing Kady.” Julia said bluntly.

“Oh, well be here Wednesday and both of you have to wear dresses for the viewing.” She said. Julia gladly ended the call. Kady sat down on the bed next to Julia.

“Can you call Quentin and Alice? Margo and Eliot too. Tell them to come to the viewing. It’s going to be Thursday.” Julia asked. 

“Yeah, sure babe.” Kady had been loyally and dutifully following all of Julia’s demands. There hadn’t been many, but Julia was thankful anyways. She slept that night and the next day was dedicated to getting ready to go to Julia’s mom’s house. Mainly it was Kady getting their things together and planning travel arrangements. They had a few hundred dollars in savings that they would use to rent a car to get around. Julia was starting to feel bad for how unhelpful she was being, but all she could think about was how miserable she would be spending three days with her mom without Danielle. She felt selfish because she wasn’t even grieving her dead sister, she was just dreading her mother’s disapproval and judgement. She decided that she hadn’t been crying because it didn’t feel real enough for her to mourn yet. 

“We don’t have to go tomorrow. We can just go to the viewing.” Kady offered, knowing that Julia was struggling with the thought of being with her mom. 

“She’ll flip if I’m not there. Besides, Adam shouldn’t have to suffer alone.” Julia decided. 

Before she knew it they had gotten the car and were heading to her mom’s suburban home. The last three days had been a blur. She felt like everything that had happened since her mother’s phone call was a completely different life than the one she had been living before. She finally found herself thinking of Danielle on the car ride. Danielle had always been fiercely protective of Julia. When Julia’s dad was shipped off to rehab Danielle told Julia that he was traveling the world and would make up fantastical stories about the adventures he was going on. When he died and Julia’s mom went on a drunken rampage, Danielle let Julia sleep in her room and would read her books to drown out the sounds of her mother’s ridiculous crying. Julia remembered one time when Quentin and her had gone to a party in Manhattan. They were sixteen at the time and very inexperienced drinkers, but after a few hours they were much drunker than they wanted to be and when the police showed up, both of them made a run for it. They thought they’d made it out when an officer stopped them at the front of the building. Julia was ready to do anything to get out of this because her mom would probably violently kill her if she was arrested. She could see it now, a front page story about how one of New York’s most seasoned city councilors daughter was sitting pretty in a jail cell. The cop was young and clearly enjoying his power a little too much because when Julia told him her last name his eyes lit up.

“Wicker huh? Any relationship to Elizabeth Wicker?” He asked with a smirk.

“My mom.” Julia said quietly. 

“Well, kid, I’m sure your mom can afford a nice lawyer.” He said. Julia felt her heart drop. 

“I have money. Two hundred fifty dollars in my purse. And a few gift cards.” Julia said as a last ditch effort. She hadn’t really expected it to work, but the cop told her to show him. He counted the bills and smiled. 

“You two better get out of here before I change my mind.” He said. Julia grabbed Quentin’s hand and took off. She didn’t stop until they were five blocks from the party.

“How the fuck are we supposed to get home?” Quentin asked. Julia was feeling really drunk and she thought she might puke.

“You don’t have any money?” Julia asked. 

“No, that kid at the party made me pay for his booze.” Quentin said. “I have like fifty cents.” 

Julia was slowly coming to the realization that they were kind of fucked right now. Both of them were hammered and stranded. Calling their parents would be suicide. The only other option was Danielle. Danielle was living in a dorm at Columbia and didn’t have access to a car, but Julia didn’t really have any other choice.

“Hello?” Danielle asked clearly having been woken up.

“Dani, I need your help. I’m drunk and a cop just took all my cash. I’m with Q, but we don’t have a ride home.” Julia told her, embarrassment taking over.

“Jesus Jules. Where are you?” Danielle was there in a cab within a half hour. “Get in.” She said. Danielle gladly hung that night over her head and Julia would roll her eyes, but she’d never been more grateful for her sister than in that moment. Danielle was the only other person in the world who understood what it was like growing up with Beth for a mom. Everything they did, they had to keep in mind how it would impact her mom’s career. That’s why Danielle was always willing to cover her ass, because no one was happy when their mom was pissed. Julia would miss understanding like that. Julia and Danielle really knew the ins and outs of each other and the adolescent trauma that was behind all their fucked up tendencies. Funnily enough Beth, who they both hated with equal strength, had been their greatest binding factor. Besides biology, she was the glue that held them together. When it seemed like there was nothing left between them, there was always Beth and her cruelty. 

When they got to the house, Julia could tell her mom was already a few drinks down. She was a bit sloppy and had a stain on her dress. Adam looked as put together as he always did. Her mom openly embraced her. Julia didn’t bother hugging her back.

“Oh Julia, it’s so good to see you.” She said. Julia said nothing back. “You must be Kady. It’s nice to meet you.” She said with disdain. “Come in. There’s plenty of food. The whole staff from the mayor’s office paid to have a catering service bring meals over. So nice of them.” She said. Kady followed close behind her. Adam took their bags and put them in the guest bedroom. Beth’s house was modern, devoid of life, just like her. She had paintings and decor that had pops of color, but everything was dull seemed dull to Julia. She hated it. “I was just on the phone with the Mayor actually. He offers his condolences and all, but he was saying he hopes I can still make it to his charity gala next week. I told him of course I could. It’s good to be around people in times like this.” Julia wondered if her mom had noticed that she hadn’t said a word since they got there. “Anyways, I’m going to go freshen up. Have a drink, settle in.” She disappeared into her bedroom. For a split second Julia considered that it must be uncomfortable for her mom that she was here too, but any concern she might have felt was gone. 

“You want a drink?” Kady asked calmly. She was glad that Kady was here, acting as her anchor. Kady was calm under stress and she needed that because right now she felt like she was in a pressure cooker. 

“Alcohol. Please.” Julia said. Adam made his way back into the room. Julia had always liked Adam. Dani and him met at Columbia and married a week after they graduated. He was smart and thoughtful and took good care of Dani. 

“She’s been a little out of it since Monday.” He clarified. “I’m Adam by the way.” He said to Kady. 

“Kady, I’m sorry for your loss.” She said. 

“Thank you. How have you been Julia? I know being here is hard for you.” He said.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry about that.” She told him. Adam hated Julia’s mom, but the only reason she knew that was because Dani told her. He was too polite to ever reveal his disdain to her or her mom. “Thanks for coming here and taking care of things. I know you’d probably rather be anywhere else.” Julia said. Adam told her that his parents were staying at his and Danielle’s house. He had been driving over every morning and leaving at night because they didn’t live too far from here. She felt bad for him. She was sure he was having a hard time grieving when he was with Beth all day. They sat in silence and drank until they were buzzed. Her mom had been gone for awhile so some of the tension had dissipated. 

“How’s law school going?” He asked. 

“Fine. Expensive.” Julia said. 

“Tell me about it. My grad school cost an arm and a leg.” He said. They kept drinking and making small talk and before Julia knew it she was drunk. Adam was too, but she was pretty sure Kady hadn’t even finished one glass of wine. “One time, one time-we were at the bar. It was after finals and Danielle was going stir crazy. We’d all be studying for like five days straight and Danielle wanted to have some fun. She got up on the bar and she took her top off. We got thrown out, but it was the best night I’ve ever had at a bar.” Adam said. Julia and him were hysterical, telling stories about stupid things Danielle and them did. Every single time they started a story the began by saying “one time”.  
“One time, mom was being a huge bitch. We’d both been grounded for a week and Dani missed this huge Halloween party because of it and mom had just bought a new Benz. So Danielle and I, bought two grams of weed and smoked it all her brand new car. She was so pissed, we weren’t allowed to go anywhere for two months.” Julia said. “Fucking bitch had it coming.” She added. Adam and her were laughing uncontrollably. 

“Jules.” Kady said quietly. Julia heard the familiar sound of her mom clearing her throat. 

“I was just coming down for some dinner. I can heat food up for all of you.” She said quietly. Julia almost groaned out loud. This was one of her mom's favorite tactics. Act hurt and sad so that she could get pity. It worked on Julia every time. Somehow her mom always managed to convince her that she was the bad guy.

“No thanks, Kady and I are going to bed.” Julia said. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna call a taxi. Head home. I’ll be back tomorrow with my parents.” Adam added on. Julia’s mom made the most pathetic face she could. 

“Okay, goodnight everyone.” She said sadly. Julia pulled Kady to the guest room. She was drunk and her mom had just pissed her off. The second she had closed the door she pushed Kady up against it and kissed her. She started pulling at the buttons of Kady’s shirt when she pushed her back.

“Julia, no.” She said.

“Please Kady, I want to have some fun.” Julia asked.

“No, you’re drunk. And sad. I’m not having sex with you right now.” Kady told her firmly.

“I’m fine babe. I feel great.” Julia lied. 

“You’re not in the best mindset right now. Just lay down with me, please.” Kady easily pulled Julia onto the bed with her. Even if Julia had wanted to resist, she felt heavy and sedated. Kady had complete control over her right now. The numbness was starting to seep back into her brain. The room seemed like it had a blurry filter over it and everything felt dulled. “Go to sleep. You’ll feel better tomorrow.” Kady assured. Julia knew it wasn’t true, but she repeated those words in her head until the alcohol lulled her to sleep.

 

The loud sound of pouring rain woke Julia up in the morning. The sky was gray and it looked bone chillingly cold out. Kady was awake laying next to her. 

“What time is it?” Julia asked. She was glad that it was dark out because the window let in a lot of light and she had an intense headache.

“Just before ten. Adam got here a little while ago with his parents, but I figured you’d want some sleep.” Kady said.

“Yeah, I feel like I could use a few more hours.” Julia confessed. “We should get dressed.” Julia said. Her mom would expect them to be dressed and ready to go by noon even though the viewing didn’t start until three. She was sure that Beth was already out there boasting about something to Adam’s parents. They were both ready to go by eleven and Julia went out to meet Adam’s parents. They were a kind couple who were very sorry for Julia’s loss. She was going to have to prepare herself to hear that a million times today. She was wondering what her role at the viewing would be today. Adam was clearly the one who was put together and her mom was always the professional one. Julia would probably be the one who was clearly a little fucked up in the head by Dani’s death. She couldn’t put on a happy face like her mother or thank everyone for coming like Adam would. 

Her mom was frantically trying to get everything in order for the wake. Adam’s mom and dad were trying to help, but her mom was refusing.

“Julia can help me. Come on dear. Put the wine out and set up the table.” She said. If it weren’t for Adam’s parents Julia would have laughed, but she dutifully helped her mother. They had finished earlier than expected, but her mom wanted to head to the funeral home anyways. “I have to make sure the arrangements look how I want them too. The flowers at Marleen’s husbands funeral were just horrific. I’m sure it was all anyone could notice.” She insisted. Julia almost gagged at her mom’s shallowness. When they arrived, Julia and Kady went directly to the private room in the basement. They sat down there in silence until three, when guests started to arrive and her mother insisted that they come upstairs. On the way up her mother pulled her aside.

“Please just tell everyone Kady is your friend. Don’t make this about you okay?” She said. Julia had never hated her mother more. She wasn’t looking for an answer and Julia didn’t bother giving her one. Julia stood as far from the door as she could. She watched as judges and politicians flocked to her mom. Danielle and Adam’s friends were all talking to Danielle. There were very few family members in attendance. Her mom’s parents were both dead and she’d alienated her siblings decades ago. The only relative that came through the doors was her Grandma Lou. Grandma Lou was almost ninety years old. Julia’s dad was her only son and when he died it made her a different person. She lived a very solitary life, but she and Julia had a good relationship. Grandma Lou was the first person who bothered coming over to Julia. 

“Hello dear, how are you?” She asked feebly as she sat in the car next to her. 

“I’m okay. How have you been?” Julia asked. 

“Fine. Who’s this?” She asked pointing at Kady.

“Uh this is Kady. My friend.” She said shamefully. Kady would understand why she was lying, but she felt guilty.

“Friend? I’m not your bitch of a mother, you know. She might think she’s sly, but Dani and I spoke awhile back and she's not fond of keeping secrets.” She said bluntly. Age had taken away her filter and Julia was actually relieved to talk to someone who wasn’t walking on eggshells with her. 

“Um, girlfriend.” She corrected. Grandma Lou smiled.

“Nice to meet you Kady. I’m going to go find my seat. Don’t be a stranger Julia. You’re my only living relative now.” She said. Julia hadn’t thought about that. Grandma Lou had a brother, but he never had kids and died a few years back. Her son was gone and now one of her grandchildren was too. It relieved some of the pressure in her chest to think that maybe her grandma was feeling what she was, because Julia didn’t have a family anymore either. 

“Do you want to go back downstairs for awhile? Be alone for a bit?” Kady asked warmly.

“Yeah, sure.” Julia answered. Truth be told, she didn’t care if she was sitting here with all these people around or downstairs alone because either way she felt isolated by her mind. There was no one in the basement so Julia took off her painful heels and sat on the couch. About twenty minutes later familiar voices came from the staircase. She’d forgotten she told Kady to invite Quentin, Alice, Eliot and Margo, but there they were all walking downstairs together.

“Hey Jules.” Quentin greeted. She apathetically accepted his hug. “I’m so sorry.” He said privately as he held her tightly. She pulled back and looked at the rest of them.

“The hunk at the door told us you were down here.” Eliot said. Quentin gave him an incredulous look. 

“Adam?” Julia asked. 

“Yeah that’s the one. What’s he your cousin? Distant enough for me to give it a try?” He asked. Leave it to Eliot.

“Try Danielle’s husband.” Julia corrected. Eliot’s jaw dropped a little and his discomfort was clear. “It’s fine. I’d expect no less from you.” Julia told him. “Thank you all for coming.” She told them. 

“I made a pasta salad for the wake. It’s in the car.” Alice told her. 

“Thanks, uh, I should probably head up. The service will be starting soon. Feel free to hangout down here as long as you want.” Julia said. They ended up following her up and Julia finally did some greeting. She only went to the people she actually knew who were there. She talked to Danielle’s oldest friend, Shonda, for awhile and finally took her seat next to Kady and Quentin. Her mom had hired one of the most well-known priests in the city. It felt so fake hearing him read scripture and talk about the kingdom of the lord because they hadn’t been to church since Julia was twelve. Danielle probably considered herself an atheist, but having a priest looked good. He spoke about her legacy and the love she left behind. Then he invited her mother up to say a few words. Beth’s speech sounded like an Oscar acceptance speech. She continually thanked everyone for being there and saying she knew Danielle would be thankful for their appearance. It was shallow and all too familiar to Julia. Her mom walked off the stage with tears in her eyes. Julia’s face was stone cold. If she didn’t know her family or herself, from the outside she might think that she was a psychopath. Julia still hadn’t shed a single tear over her sister’s death. She was starting to thing she never would. She looked around to see nearly everyone was crying, but she couldn’t figure out why. The priest was just spewing out bullshit about the afterlife and her mom really had just reiterated it. Now, it was Adam’s turn to speak. He was still holding himself together and seemed very relaxed. 

“I met Danielle my sophomore year of college. We were both volunteering for Habit for Humanity, building houses. It was raining and we were both covered in mud, but I saw her and I just couldn’t ignore her. I asked her on a date and she calmly and kindly rejected me. I was absolutely mortified and every time I saw her on campus after that I would go out of my way to avoid walking past her. We didn’t talk again until the end of the semester. We were in the same bar and I guess she had a change of heart because she asked if I wanted to leave with her. There was no single moment where I realized Danielle was the love of my life, but at some point I just realized that I couldn’t imagine my life without her. She was caring and thoughtful and dedicated her life to helping others. Danielle still had work to do in this world and I am asking you all to finish that work by being kind and taking care of your fellow man. I’m going to miss her everyday, but ultimately I am thankful that I even got the chance to know her.” 

Adam finally cried. He made it through the whole speech, but the second he finished his hand came to his mouth and he let out a choked sob. Julia didn’t realize she was going to help him off the stage until she was at his side. He had crouched down and was trying to hold back his loud cries. Julia knew that Adam was not the kind of person who wanted to be this emotional in front of a group. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly. Julia slowly helped him up and lead him back to his seat, then went back to her own. The priest closed out the service and invited everyone back to their house for the wake. Kady and her were the first ones back to the house. Slowly people started filling her house, most of them she didn’t know. Per Julia’s request, Kady stole a few bottles of champagne and snuck off into the basement with her. Quentin, Alice, Margo and Eliot joined them shortly after.

“That was a… nice service.” Margo said. 

“Sure. You could say that.” Julia said as she took a long drink. Eliot, Quentin, Margo and her were passing around the bottle quickly. Alice was DD for the night and Kady was probably worried about Julia and wanting to stay sober. Eventually Adam came down to join them and he was equally as drunk. They weren’t telling fun stories or laughing at jokes this time. It was a sullen atmosphere. Every once in awhile someone would say something, but mostly they were quiet. It was nine o’clock when the last guests upstairs left and Margo, El, Q and A followed suit. Julia thanked them for coming. Once again Adam, Kady, her mom, and herself were the only people in the house. They were all in the kitchen halfheartedly (and drunkenly) attempting to clean up some. They continued to drink and finally Adam broke the silence.

“Um, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I didn’t really know when the appropriate time was, but you should know that Danielle was eight weeks pregnant. Um, we were going to be parents.” He said. Julia didn’t know how to respond. It seemed pointless to her to know this information. It was nice he wanted to tell them, but it didn’t matter now. Danielle and the baby were dead. Her mom apparently felt differently. She slowly sat down and let her head rest in her hands. 

“A baby? I was going to be a grandma?” She said sadly.

“Yes.” Adam answered. 

“I was going to be a grandmother and now I’m alone. Now I have no one.” There was venom in her voice that Julia recognized. Julia could feel the eb and flow of the alcohol in her veins. Her heart was thumping loudly and she was hot. Anger seeped from every pore in her body while watching her mother’s pity party. “Everyone in my life is gone!” She practically yelled. “Everyone leaves.” It was all drunken dramatics, but Julia was livid. 

“You think that has nothing to do with you?” Julia said. There was no point in starting a fight, but she couldn't help herself. “You’re the reason you’re alone mom. You did that to yourself.”

“I didn’t kill my child and grandchild!” She spat. 

“No but you kicked me out. And you threw dad to the curb and you forced all of your siblings out of your life because you care more about your career than your family!” 

“Don’t mention your father in this house.” She stood up and pointed at Julia. 

“Fuck you mom. You deserve to be alone. Everyone hates you. Dad hated you, I hate you and Danielle hated you!” Her mom’s slap caught her completely off guard. She put her hand to her cheek which was radiating with pain and stepped back from her mother. Adam quickly pulled Beth back from Julia and Kady was pulling Julia away. 

“Get the fuck out of my house! Get out you ungrateful bitch!” Kady had wrapped her arms around Julia’s waist and carried her out to the foyer. “You’re selfish! Fuck you!” Her mom was still screaming. 

“Go to the car. I’ll get our stuff, just go to the car.” Kady said while practically pushing her out the front door. She could still hear her mom’s voice outside of the house. The air was bitterly cold and the grass was frosted over. The warmth in her body from the alcohol and anger quickly faded seeing as she didn’t even have a coat on. She sat in the front seat of the car and tried to force herself to calm down. She felt like a kid who had just been sent to the car and was waiting for her parents to come out and scold her except the only person who came out of the house was Kady. She was struggling to carry all of their bags, but she managed to put them in the trunk and get in the car. 

“Are you okay?” She asked, genuine concern masking her face. 

“Just drive, alright?” Julia said. Kady obliged and started heading towards the city. Julia didn’t say a single word on the ride. They parked the car in the closest spot they could to their apartment and walked the rest of the way home. Julia eagerly took off her dress and put on pajamas. 

“Are we still going to the burial tomorrow?” Kady asked. 

“Yes. Wake me up at eight.” Julia told her as if she was going to get any sleep that night. She was too drunk and too pissed off to even close her eyes. 

 

Julia ended up having to wake Kady up. By three in the morning the alcohol had worn off so she went to the living room and read for awhile. She never did fall asleep and by nine o’clock she felt like garbage. She had to load up on concealer to cover the bags under her eyes, but the heavy feeling of her body would just have to wear away on its own. It was another rainy, fall day so Julia put on tights and her warmest coat. Kady grabbed an umbrella and drove them to the grave-site. She didn’t want to see her mother, but for the first time since Danielle died she wasn’t going to focus on her mom because this was the last time she would be with Danielle. 

“You ready?” Kady asked.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Julia said. They huddled under the umbrella and walked carefully through the puddles to the headstone. Adam and her mother were already there. Her mom didn’t so much as glance in Julia’s direction. Adam gave her a slight nod and the priest who was presiding over the burial began to speak. It was a different one than from the service yesterday and he used a much more secular tone. He talked about Danielle’s soul finding peace and how it was essential for them to try and find peace as well. For the first time in awhile Julia considered God. She hoped that there was a heaven because the thought of Danielle’s story ending here, with a small headstone in a large cemetery, was too tragic to fathom. She deserved a place where she could be loved and happy. Maybe tonight she would say a prayer for her. 

The priest finished his speech and the undertaker’s began shoveling dirt onto her casket. Julia didn’t know how long she stood there, but when she looked back up her mom and Adam were gone. Julia vaguely recognized that she’d probably just seen her mom for the last time. There was no desire in her to reconcile their relationship. Danielle and her mom were gone. The only person left was Kady, who was holding her hand and standing right next to her. Eventually they walked back to the car together leaving a large chapter of her life behind her. They both sat down and watched the rain beat down against the windshield. 

“It’s over now Jules. We can go home. It’s over.” Kady told her softly. 

“Yeah, it’s over.” Julia repeated. She looked at Kady who was wearing the softest expression Julia had ever seen on her face. Julia had never felt such care and adoration directed at her before. Julia had felt so alone for the last week and yet Kady had been by her side the whole time. “I miss her.” Julia confessed. 

“I know.” Kady said. She extended her hand and gently brushed a stray hair behind her ear. Julia was going to say something when she felt a slight hitch in her throat. A small gasping breath followed and she couldn’t stop the tears once she’d let the floodgates open. Her head fell forward into Kady’s shoulder and cried without reservation. It was by no means a cathartic experience, but it was necessary. She couldn’t ignore her grief forever. It took many tries before she had finally caught her breath. Kady wiped the tears off her face and handed her a tissue which she gratefully took. 

“Sorry.” Julia said as she wiped her snot away. She wasn’t really sure what she was apologizing for. 

“You’re fine.” Kady said. 

“Thanks for being here for me this week. I love you.” Julia said. 

“I love you too.” Kady answered. The rain eased up some as Julia and her left the cemetery. Julia thought she might have even seen the sun peak out.


	7. Winter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kady and Julia act like tourists

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter won't make that much sense if you don't read the one before it, so I'd recommend doing that first. Thanks for reading and feel free to drop a comment :)

The holiday’s had allowed Julia to perfect the art of avoidance. She delved deep into her law books and case studies in effort to thwart off Kady’s worried looks. She had become a master at shrugging off her questions and concerns. She didn’t want Kady’s pity because Julia was fine. When Christmas came and she didn’t get a card from her sister or a call from Adam, Julia just pushed her feelings aside and finished writing one of her papers. On New Year’s Eve when they had no plans, Julia picked up a shift because she had to keep busy. Her method to handling her grief was simple; she never let herself have nothing to do. That way if Kady wanted to talk about her feelings or her mind wanted to bog her down, she just shut it all out and got to work on something. It was a terrible thing to say, but Danielle’s death really had given her an edge up. In school she was unstoppable. Her professor’s couldn't praise her enough and her scores were consistently at the top of the classes. Classmates practically seeped jealousy as she appeared to breeze through classwork and discussion with ease. She intimidated them and Julia loved it. She thrived knowing that they all resented her with their whole hearts, while simultaneously wanting to be her. 

Kady wasn’t as impressed by Julia’s academic vigor. She was constantly telling Julia to put her books down and relax for a few hours or take a day off. Julia shrugged her off every time. Sometimes she felt bad because Julia knew that Kady was genuinely worried about her well being, but she didn’t need to be. Julia was doing just fine. She told her that almost every single day. Sure, sometimes the world felt like it was gray and blank and so unbelievably pointless, but most of the time it just felt plain. There was nothing good about it, but there was nothing all that bad either. Things just happened and that was the way it was. People just got into car accidents and died, and there wasn’t a single Goddamn thing anyone could do about it. Case closed. End of story. She had told Kady that, but she didn’t think it made her feel that much better. A few days later she went on Kady’s phone to find her most recent search had been “how to handle grief”. Julia just pretended she hadn’t seen it. 

The biggest change that had occurred since Danielle’s funeral was that she had started going to spend time with her grandma Lou. Grandma Lou had lived in New York City her whole life. Her and her husband had lived in a brownstone in Harlem until they retired. They then bought an old, Victorian style house just outside of the city. Julia’s mom had pressured her to give up the house and move into assisted living after her husband had died, but grandma Lou told her to fuck off and stay away from her home. For ninety years old, she was in outstanding health, but outstanding health at that age still wasn’t all that good, so she hired a woman named Claire to help her clean and check in on her. Julia thought that grandma Lou had a pretty damn good life and she absolutely loved hearing her stories. She visited her for Sunday dinner quite often and listened to her tales about places she traveled to and protests she took part in. Julia had come to the conclusion that her grandma was a total badass. She liked spending time with her because she never asked Julia how she was doing. It wasn’t because she didn’t care, she just could tell that Julia didn’t want to talk about herself. 

Kady was the only person who was still prying at Julia’s feelings. Quentin gave up after a few weeks and Alice never even tried. Margo and Eliot were perfectly happy to drink their sorrows away with her, but addressing actual issues wasn’t their style. So, Julia had actually become a master at avoiding Kady since the Danielle’s death. They were still hopelessly in love and spent as much time as possible together, but Julia refused to talk to her about her what had happened. Every time Kady tried to bring it up, Julia either made up some mundane chore or shut her up with sex. It felt a little wrong, but she didn’t want to talk about her problems when ignoring them was working so well for her. She’d been successful for about two and a half months when Kady finally got her to cave. Kady was a clever bastard and somehow had managed to get Julia to open up without prompting. It all started when she told Julia that she had planned a surprise date for Saturday night. 

“If you take a shift I’ll break your legs and that would make the whole date suck, so don’t fucking take one.” She warned. Julia was half-tempted to take one anyways just to see what Kady would do, but Julia really valued her ability to walk so she decided not to. Waiting for their date to start had left her impatient on Saturday. 

“Where are we going? Can’t you just tell me?” Julia said.

“No. Stop whining.” She said without even looking up for her phone. Julia tried her best to act angry with Kady even though Kady would know it was fake. 

Finally at around six Kady told her to dress warm. It had been an abnormally frigid winter. They had seen record amounts of snow and long lasting subzero temperatures. Thankfully the temperatures were more mild that night, but it was by no means warm. Julia had a feeling they were doing something that Kady thought would be fun, but Julia didn’t want to go out in the cold. She would have told Kady, but after months of keeping her at bay, Julia didn’t want to turn down a date. They were in a bad place at the moment and they could use some quality time together. 

Kady and her were both wearing their warmest coats and went out to face the bitter air. It was already dark out and snow was lightly falling from the gray sky above. She didn’t know where they were heading, but Julia was relieved to get on the warm subway car. She was less relieved when they were on it for nearly an hour. They were going somewhere in Manhattan, that much was clear, but other than that, Julia had no clue and Kady wasn’t budging.

“I swear to God Jules, if you ask me one more time where we’re going, I’m gonna donate your textbooks to the library.” Kady said with venom.

“That was a creative threat, but me and you both know that you’d basically be giving away two months worth of rent and you would never do that.” Julia responded. Finally they got off at Rockefeller Center Station. Julia didn’t bother asking questions because now that they were here she knew what they were doing. Kady had mentioned a few weeks ago how ridiculous it was that she’d lived in New York her whole life, yet she’d never done any of the “touristy” things people do in the city. 

“Kady, you know I can’t ice skate.” Julia said.

“Well you’re in luck because I can and I’m a good teacher.” Kady told her. They waited in line for tickets and skates. Kady laced up her skates like a pro and then went to help Julia.

“Where did you learn to skate?” Julia asked as Kady pulled tightly on her laces.

“Empty lot in the neighborhood. The man on the property next to it would make it into a rink every year. I played hockey with the boys.” Kady told her with a prideful smirk. 

“Of course you did.” Julia said. Kady finished her skates and helped her stand up. Already, Julia felt wobbly. Kady held her closely and helped her walk to the rink. “I can’t do this. I’m gonna embarrass myself.” Julia said.

“No you’re not. I’m not going to let you fall, I promise.” Kady said. “Do you trust me?” She asked warmly. 

“Yes.” Julia said. 

“Okay then, let’s do it.” Kady said. The second her skates hit the ice, Julia felt like her feet were about to fly out from under her. Kady steadied her and kept her close to the wall. 

“Keep your toes pointed out and just take steps.” Kady told her. Julia was clinging to Kady for dear life as they moved around the rink. “Ease up a little, Jules. Just try and skate. I told you, I won’t let you fall.” Kady said. Julia relaxed her grip and tried to to mimic Kady. She actually was doing good until she hit a ridge and slipped. She prepared for impact, but Kady grabbed her before she hit the ice. “See? I got you.” Kady said.

“Yeah, barely.” Julia said. Kady pulled her back up and after that Julia found her rhythm. She was by no means elegant, but she could stay on her feet and keep up with Kady. 

“See? This is fun.” Kady said. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty. We should get a picture.” Julia told her. They posed in front of the statue and tree and some teenagers took their picture. For all of her complaining, Julia had to admit she was having a good time. They took an obscene amount of selfies, some just smiling, others were cheesy photos of them kissing each others cheeks. Julia felt light and free for the first time since her mom called her in November. 

“Let’s get hot chocolate. There’s a Starbucks on 6th Avenue.” Kady said.

“There’s one in the Rockefeller Center too?” Julia said. 

“I know, but let’s walk a little bit.” Kady said. Julia’s legs felt a little shaky after skating, but she agreed anyways. 

After the hot chocolate they decided to head back to Brooklyn. The snow had picked up significantly during the ride home. Julia loved the soft orange glow from the light reflecting off the newly fallen snow. The roads and sidewalks had fresh tire marks and foot prints, but other than that the covering was undisturbed. Kady’s hair was sparkling with the snow that rested in her hair. She looked beautiful and Julia felt the return of that familiar desire to be near Kady. For a while she’d just been trying to avoid her, but after a night together Julia realized that she should have been leaning on her.

“Thanks for tonight. I needed it.” Julia confessed.

“I know you did.” Kady said simply.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch lately. It’s just been…hard.” Julia responded. 

“I know.” Kady said. Without saying anything, Kady was pulling word out of Julia.

“I don’t like to talk about it and I know you want to, but I miss her. Sometimes things will happen and I’ll think ‘I’ve got to tell Dani’, but then I remember.” Julia said. 

“It’s okay to miss her and it’s okay to talk about it. You don’t have to tell me how you feel, but you can just tell me when you’re having a bad time. We don’t have to talk about it, but I want you to know that we can. It doesn’t make you any less strong.” Kady said.

“God.” Julia said with a laugh. “I used to think you were a woman of few words.” Julia added. 

“I am, but not with you.” Kady told her, ignoring Julia’s attempt to make this conversation less serious. “And, I’m here for you.” Kady told her. 

“Thank you.” Julia said breathlessly. Kady gave her a chaste kiss and took her hand. They walked back to the apartment through heavy snow that blurred the world around them.


	8. Spring 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's more fun than a yard sale with five of your closest friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapters I think. It's probably because I'm longing for spring right now, but also I love writing all of the gang together. Enjoy.

When Grandma Lou died, it wasn’t as shocking as when Danielle did. The difference this time was that Grandma Lou was ninety and probably ready to move onto the next great adventure. She had taken all she could from life and dying was the most exciting thing she had done in years, Julia was sure of that. It didn’t stop Julia from feeling sad and crying about it, but Julia knew that she Grandma Lou was at peace, wherever she was. Also, unlike when Danielle died, all the responsibility fell on Julia. Claire had gone to check up on her and then called Julia to let her know what had happened. Thankfully Julia understood the legal process that occurred after a person died and two days after they found her Julia had gotten in contact with her Grandma’s financial adviser to set up a meeting. They would meet up tomorrow at his office in Queens.

  
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” Kady asked.

  
“Yeah, don’t worry about it, it’s all contract stuff.” Julia told her. “Although, I think I should bring someone who understands money a little better than I do.” Julia said to herself.

  
“I understand money.” Kady told her indignantly.

 

“I was thinking more like Quentin or Alice.” Julia told her.

  
“What, my degree in poor people’s finance isn’t good enough for you?” Kady joked.

  
“Oh shut up.” Julia said. She called Quentin that night, but he had an important board meeting the next day. Thankfully, Alice was free and willing to go with her. They met the next day at Julia’s apartment.

  
“Hey Alice, thanks for coming on such short notice.” Julia said as she put her shoes on and got her things together.

  
“You’re welcome. Sorry about your Grandma.” Alice said Julia gave a half smile and lead Alice out the door. The financial adviser's name was Mark Weller and he clearly was doing well for himself. They did quick introductions and got right to it.

  
“Well, you’re Grandma was a smart woman Julia and with me at her disposal she definitely made the most of her money. That being said she skipped out on a will and opted for a revocable living trust. Now, you probably wouldn’t know this because she made the change quite recently, but long story short, Louise left everything she owned to you.”

  
“What?” Julia said.

  
“All her assets are yours. Everything. It’s yours.” He said.

  
“Can you tell us those assets?” Alice said.

  
“Oh, yes, well numerous savings and checking accounts totaling one point eight million dollars, her house worth one point five million, and all her personal belongings.” He said with a smile.

  
“You’re kidding right?” Julia asked.

  
“Can I see that?” Alice demanded. Weller handed over the papers to Alice and both of them read through them. Neither one of them could see anything legally or financially wrong with the document.

  
“All you have to do is make sure that all legally enforceable debts are paid off and then the assets are yours. Of course if you want, Ms. Wicker, you can have your lawyer look this over, but-” Julia cut him off.

  
“I don’t need a lawyer.” Julia told him. “You’re telling me that my Grandma left me three point three million dollars worth of assets?” Julia said.

  
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.” Weller clarified. Clearly this was extremely exciting for him. Julia on the other hand, felt sick. She’d spent over two years being flat broke and now she was a millionaire, and she genuinely had no idea what to do. Julia knew that she was the only living blood relative of Grandma Lou, but they'd only become close in the last few months. She felt overwhelmingly, undeserving of her wealth. Alice had taken the meeting over and was going through financial documents and papers. Julia was thankful that she brought her because Kady probably would have passed out. Alice clearly knew what she was doing and was unbothered by the large amounts of money she was dealing with. Without Julia even noticing the meeting had ended and Alice was beckoning her out of the chair.

“Congrat- I mean, I-I’m so sorry for your loss Ms. Wicker.” Weller told her. Julia didn’t respond, just shook his hand and walked out with Alice.

  
“Okay, so basically all you need to do is pay off any of your Grandma’s final debts and then her assets are yours. She’d already had a credit report printed off for Weller to give to you and there isn’t much here, but just call all these companies and make sure there’s no outstanding debts. You get that?” Alice said.

  
“Yeah, sorry, I just can’t believe this.” Julia said. “Kady’s going to freak out.”

  
“I can help you with the house. I know a woman, she’s a realtor, she owes me a favor.” Alice told her.

  
“Fuck, I’m going have to sort through all her shit.” Julia said.

  
“We can help, Q and I. I’m sure Eliot and Margo will too.” Alice said.

  
“Jesus, thanks Alice. You’ve been a lifesaver.” Julia said. They went back to Julia’s apartment and Alice helped pay off her Grandma’s remaining bills. Alice ended up doing most of the financial work while Julia ended up on the phone with a fucking mortician. Weller had given Julia a paper that Grandma had left with funeral instructions. She wanted the cheapest possible package and a matching headstone next to her husbands. It should have been simple, but the man on the phone was insistent on running through every single package, no matter how much Julia protested. Finally, they got everything worked out and Julia slumped back on the couch, exhausted.

  
“Well, I think everything’s taken care of. I’ll call Weller and make sure everything is done.” Alice said. Julia thanked her profusely and laid down on the couch trying to comprehend what had just happened to her. Without doing anything, Julia had just become richer than she had ever been before. She looked around her apartment, feeling a bit strange. There were water stains on the ceiling and the carpet probably hadn’t been cleaned since it was put in. It was never quiet between the buzz of the refrigerator, the rattling of the heater, and the ridiculously thin walls that let all sound in. They could move out now if they wanted to. Hell, they could move into Grandma Lou’s house which was completely paid off and big enough for six people to live comfortably in. Maybe they could go on vacation or something. Julia pictured her and Kady sitting on a beach in the tropics with tan skin and fruity drinks in their hands. Jesus, this was all too much. She wondered how long Grandma Lou was sitting on this knowledge without telling her. Julia figured it brought her great pleasure to know that she would be making Julia into a millionaire when she died, honestly she probably looked forward to it. When Kady got home, Julia was thinking of that penthouse apartment they’d been dreaming of.

  
“Hey pookie, how did it go?” Kady asked. She’d take to calling her disgusting pet names just to make her laugh.

  
“I think I just threw up in my mouth.” Julia told her. “It went...well it didn’t go as expected.” Julia said.

  
“What does that mean?” Kady asked.

  
“I don’t-maybe you should sit down.” Julia said. Kady didn’t budge so Julia grabbed her and pulled her to the couch.

  
“What, Julia? Spit it out for fuck’s sake.” She said.

  
“She left me everything. Three point three million dollars worth of assets. We don’t even have to go to probate court. She left a revocable living trust.” Julia said. Kady’s hands fell from Julia’s. Her jaw went slack and she sat back, shock clearly written on her face.

  
“You’re kidding right?” Kady asked. Julia couldn’t help, but laugh as Kady repeated the words she said only hours ago.

  
“No, I’m not. It’s all mine, the house, the money, all of it.” Julia said. She wasn’t sure how Kady would react, but she didn’t expect her to laugh.

  
“You’re a millionaire. Seriously, what the fuck?” Kady said. Julia laughed along with her because this really was absurd. They’d been saving pennies for so long that Julia couldn’t even remember the last time she had more than two thousand dollars in her saving account. Now she was about to have nearly two million dollars in her name. “What are you going to do with the house?” Kady asked.

  
“I’m not sure. We could live there if we wanted.” Julia said.

  
“Richmond Hill? No thanks.” Kady said. Julia just rolled her eyes and laughed. They cracked open a bottle of wine and spend the rest of the night celebrating the life of Grandma Lou and their new found wealth.

 

 

Grandma Lou’s funeral was on a Wednesday. She was buried right next to her husband and the only people who were there were Julia, Kady, Quentin, Alice, Eliot and Margo. Grandma Lou had had many friends over her life, but she’d either outlived them all or didn’t talk to them anymore, because Claire didn’t know of any of her friends and had no contact information for them. Claire was supposed to come to the burial, but her daughter got sick and had to bail last minute.

  
The ground was soft from all the spring rain and the air was stick with humidity, but world had a beauty to it that only came during spring when all life returned to nature. They stood in silence around the tombstone until Eliot spoke up.

  
“Anyone want to say anything?” He asked, obviously referring to Julia.

  
“Um, Grandma Lou was ninety years old. She went to civil rights marches and was dedicated to fighting the patriarchy. She was a tough woman and I learned a lot from her over the last few months. I’m going to miss her, but she’s with her husband and Danielle and all her friend, so that’s um...good.” Julia said.

  
“Here, here.” Eliot said. “Let’s go drink.”

 

 

The bar was fairly empty, it being a Wednesday afternoon and all, but that didn’t stop the six of them from getting drunk. Julia felt bad because she was texting the realtor Alice had hooked her up with throughout the night and she was sure her texts were starting to make less and less sense as the drinks kept flowing. Julia was trying her best to talk about the house with Quentin and Alice.

  
“The realtor said that she could have the house on the market by next Wednesday if I want. She said it’s probably worth one and half million dollars, but they’re going to ask for two.” Julia said.

  
“Sounds good to me.” Alice said.

  
“Yep, I’ll drink to that.” Quentin said. “But what about all her stuff?” He asked.

  
“I don’t know. I guess I need to go look through it.” Julia said.

  
“You could do a yard sale?” Alice said. Julia thought that a yard sale actually wasn’t a bad idea. Julia probably wouldn’t want much of Grandma Lou’s things and she really didn’t know what else to do with it. “We could help. Have it next weekend, we could help you go through everything Thursday and then start the sale Friday.” Alice said.

  
“That’s a great fucking idea.” Julia said. The three of them did a shot and Julia went to go find Kady.

 

 

It turned out that everyone was on board for the yard sale. It was an excuse to hang out and take time off work which, now that Julia and Kady had money, all of them were eager to do. On Monday night the six of them had went out and put up flyers for the sale and Kady made a Facebook post on the local page. On Wednesday night they all headed to Richmond Hill and went to Grandma Lou’s house. Julia had the key after Claire brought it by last week. The house was old, but in pristine condition. It was the kind of house that only got more beautiful with age. The wooden floors were all original and the furniture was all reupholstered and had gorgeous wooden curves.

  
“Okay, so Kady and I will sleep in the master bedroom. There’s another bedroom upstairs and one down here too. I’m going to go buy a bunch of boxes and price tags so settle in.” Julia said. When Julia got back they had ordered pizza and were drinking from Grandma Lou’s extensive liquor cabinet.

  
“Jules, your grandma had expensive taste.” Margo said as she sifted through bottles to look at labels. Julia took one from her and started to play catch up with the rest of the group. They didn’t stay up too late, because they had a ton of shit to sort through tomorrow, but Julia and Kady were both buzzed and giggly when they got in bed. Julia cracked a window open to let in the warm, spring air and crawled into bed with Kady.

  
“What should we do once we sell the house?” Julia asked her.

  
“I don’t know, it’s your money. What do you want to do?” Kady said.

  
“It’s your money too.” Julia said. “Let’s go to Aruba.” Julia decided.

  
“No, Jamaica.” Kady said. They stayed up talking until they were too tired to continue. They woke up at seven the next morning and got dressed. Q and A were already awake drinking coffee and Margo followed soon after. Eliot was the last one up as expected. It was a warm day already so Julia put on shorts and a tank top. Once everyone was ready they got to work. The best plan they had was to divide and conquer. Julia divided up the boxes and trash bags. Eliot and Quentin went to sort through the shit in the garage and basement. Alice was in the kitchen and Margo and Kady were charged with moving the larger pieces of furniture. Julia decided to go through Grandma Lou’s bedroom. She started with clothes which would easy. Every once and awhile she set a sweater or shirt aside that she thought Eliot might like, but other than that she put everything in the boxes or trash bags. Boredom took her over rather quickly and she went to go check on progress. Eliot and Quentin had cleaned out the small garage and that’s where they were putting the boxes and furniture.

  
“This is fucking awful.” Eliot said as he wiped sweat from his brow. “What time is it?” He asked.

  
“Almost noon.” Quentin told him. Eliot groaned loudly and went off to make himself a drink. The living room had been mostly cleared out and Alice had made large progress on the kitchen.

  
“How did one woman own this much shit?” Margo said angrily. “My arms feel like I’ve been jerking it for four hours straight.” She added. Julia laughed and joined everyone else on their drink and food break. They ended up switching around and by three o’clock the six of them had managed to get almost everything into the garage or living room. There was a ridiculous mound of trash on the curb and the garage was packed to the brim.

  
“Now what?” Alice said.

  
“Now we price everything.” Quentin said. There was a collective sigh from the group. They were already tired, but more than anything, they wanted to get the work done. Julia let Margo and Eliot sort through all the clothes per their request. Kady apparently knew a lot about furniture so she was pricing the bigger stuff. Actually, Kady had sort of become their ‘editor’. If anyone had doubt about what to price something they asked her and if someone had the price too low or too high she corrected it. The system became more efficient as they continued working, find an item, price it, organize it. They finally finished at eight o’clock and there wasn’t a single one of them who wasn’t completely exhausted. Every sound in the empty house echoed loudly and the amount of space in the old home became astonishingly clear.

  
“We put the mattress’ outside.” Alice said. “Where are we going to sleep?” She added.

  
“Fucking hell.” Margo cursed. It took them another fifteen minutes to get the mattress’ back in the house and none of them had the energy to move them to a bedroom so they just laid them all out on the living room floor. Six weary bodies collapsed without even bothering to change out of the clothes they had been in all day.

  
“Someone go get the alcohol.” Eliot said.

  
“Why don’t you do it?” Kady responded. Eliot grunted as he made a half-hearted attempt to get up before laying back down. Quentin decided to take charge and went to grab the liquor bottle they left on the counter. There was a cool breeze coming in through the open windows, but there were no blankets in the house so they all just laid in a pile on the three connected beds, trying to stay close for warmth.

  
“Maybe we should finally have the orgy we were destined for.” Eliot said. Quentin almost spit the vodka in his mouth out as they all laughed.

  
“I think an orgasm might kill me right now.” Margo responded.

  
“Doesn’t sound like a bad way to die, to me.” Julia said. Kady rolled over and wrapped her arms around her waist.

  
“Maybe when you’re ninety, I’ll kill you via sex, but not today.” Kady said.

  
“This is too morbid, even for us.” Quentin answered.

  
“Not possible.” Eliot said. They polished off the remaining liquor easily. Eventually the cold became too much and Julia went digging through the garage to find some blankets. After they finally got warm, all six of them fell asleep, huddled together in the middle of an empty house.

 

 

The next morning consisted of all of them trying to get ready for the day, despite their limited supplies. Margo realized halfway through her shower that there was no soap, so Quentin had to run to the corner store and buy some shitty, ninety-nine cent bar soap. Kady went out to buy bagels for breakfast, but they didn’t have a toaster or butter, so everyone just ate them plain. Each of them were at varying levels of a hangover and they stumbled around in exhausted stupors, but when eight o’clock rolled around, they had moved all the tables out to the yard and were waiting in the warm, early morning sun for people to start coming. Julia was absent-mindedly twisting her rings as eight fifteen passed and no one came. She was anxious no one would show up, because she really had no idea was to do with all this shit.

  
“Jules, stop fidgeting.” Kady said as she walked up and grabbed her hands. “Don’t worry. People will show up.” She said. Kady was right, of course. People slowly started to trickle through and Julia discovered she was not good at selling. One customer asked for twenty five dollars less on something that was already priced conservatively and Julia didn’t have the heart to tell her no.

  
“Jules, what the hell, you have to counter offer, or just flat out say no.” Kady told her.

  
“Sorry, I’m just going to send people to you.” Julia told her. Kady was a machine the whole day. Julia was highly amused listening to her barter with people who were trying to low ball her.

  
“Are you fucking kidding me? This is first edition.” She said as she took some book from a ladies hands. Julia also found that Margo was pretty good at bartering, but she definitely wasn’t a great sales woman.

  
“Excuse me, is this chair handcrafted?” Julia hear some lady ask her.

  
“Fuck if I know.” Margo said as she ignored her. Alice and Quentin were staying in the garage, avoiding all the customers, and Eliot had been chain smoking the whole time. Kady was really picking up everyone’s slack and by the end of the first day, there was a significant dent in the amount of shit in the garage. Saturday went even better and Sunday left them with a minuscule fraction of what they started with. They were all stood in the garage as Quentin counted up all the money they made.

  
“Well, our grand total is two thousand, four hundred, twenty-three dollars and seventy-five cents.” He said.

  
“Damn, we really raked it up.” Margo said. “Let’s go to the bar.”

 

 

“To Grandma Lou, the baddest bitch of all time.” Eliot said.

  
“Cheers to that.” Kady said. The six of them all tapped their glasses together and took a drink.

  
“So, what are you going to do with the new found fortune Julia.” Quentin asked.

  
“I’m not sure, for starters, drinks are on me.” She said. Everyone did another cheers and Julia couldn’t contain the smile on her face. This week, while sad, had also been one of the most fun she’d had in sometime. “Just, thank you everyone for the support this week and thanks for giving up your time. I really appreciate it.” She said.

  
“No problem, Julia. What are friends for?” Quentin said. An overwhelming sense of love consumed Julia as she looked at her friends who had stuck by her side for years. There was a large feeling of uncertainty about the future that she felt as well, but it didn’t matter right now. She would enjoy night and her friends company, no matter the uncertainty.


End file.
